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Ability to shape-shift into your twin brother.

I got rhe power to always respawn in the middle of a noob tube. it's a blast...

The power to not respond to gravity (only when you're in space).

The power to turn grow a vagina that can whistle on your neck during a full moon.

The power to turn toast back into bread

The power to run Crysis.

The ability to fly away, but there is a 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% chance that you will get hit by a plane while taking off.

The power to communicate with sperm.

The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

The ability to shit from your mouth and burp through your ass

The power of being negative all the time.

The power to let 100 cockroaches crawl upon you for everytime you display emotion

All of Superman's powers except instead of Kryptonite your weakness is water

Immunity to curable diseases.

The power to travel through time... 1 second at a time

the power to laugh at burials and cry at weddings

The power to punch anyone as hard as you want but get hit with the same force in your genitals

The power to speak in languages that no one around you understands.

The power grow arm pit hair 5 times faster and 5 times longer than it was after shaving.

The power to talk to plants but only when they have mean things to say.

The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

The power to stand up and do what's right, save people, restore order, preserve life, maintain balance and create peace but the lack of motivation to do so.

Pointless Super Powers