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The power to teleport yourself one step away

The power to lick any telephone pole to call somebody in the winter.

the ability to die but to reappear as a strange families pet turkey

The power to have really sweaty palms.

The ability 2 breath underwater, but not above water

The power to not have a brain!

The ability to play UNO without a tongue

I got rhe power to always respawn in the middle of a noob tube. it's a blast...

The power to not respond to gravity (only when you're in space).

Ability to shape-shift into your twin brother.

The ability to produce snot twenty times faster than normal.

The power to lick your elbow.

The power to run Crysis.

The power to turn toast back into bread

The power to turn grow a vagina that can whistle on your neck during a full moon.

The ability to fly away, but there is a 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% chance that you will get hit by a plane while taking off.

The power to communicate with sperm.

The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

The ability to shit from your mouth and burp through your ass

The power of being negative all the time.

The power to travel through time... 1 second at a time

Immunity to curable diseases.

the power to laugh at burials and cry at weddings

Pointless Super Powers