The power to be asleep while in bed

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The power to turn delicious and tasteful food into useless brown mush.

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The power to fuck your mum whenever you want

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you do not need to eat but you have to sit

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The ability to see through other peoples eyes but only when they're closed.

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The power to see through glass walls.

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the power to poo out of your eyeballs and they burn when you do it

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the power to not have superpowers

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The ability to excrete Hydrochloric acid, but only in your stomach.

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The power to change your eye color.

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The ability to instantly make all your clothes vanish but only when you're in a job interview

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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The ability to recall lyrics of particularly terrible music with perfect accuracy.

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the power to summon fire with a lighter

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The ability to know if you're the only human alive.

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The power of making toast land butter-side up

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the power to create carbon dioxide (its the stuff you breathe out)

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The ability to walk slower than everyone else

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The power to like any show

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the power to shape shift to yourself

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The power of being able to see 1 day into the past

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The ability to see things only as their component atoms.

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you have the power to se anything and everything in the entire universe, but only if you are blind.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!