To be able to summon old people

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The power to start time.

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The power to die at will, and you can only do it once.

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The power to shit brix, No wait.

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The power to be skillful at everything but only while asleep.

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The power to be well feed for a day, after you eat. Dinner

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The power to revert to a six year old and teleport to the closest pedophile guild

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???q? ?o?? sp??oq??? ?nq ????u o? ???l?q? ???

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the ability to become black.

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The power to be invisable when your dead

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The power the fly unless your alive. The power to swim in water unless your wet.

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The power to turn into a slightly smaller, weaker version of yourself.

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the power to make people disappear but they reappear 5 seconds later 6 centimetres from where they were standing when you made them disappear

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the power to tell Austin Zachrich to go pee

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the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

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the power to tolerate alex simpson

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The power to give other people superpowers, but you can't give them to yourself.

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the power to complete math exercises

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

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The power to escape reality by entering the magical land of skyrim via your PS3.

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the power to turn everthing you touch into to some form of pork but you are an orthodox jew

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The power to be Chuck Norris

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the power to wake up 2 seconds before your alarm.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!