The power to turn everything you touch in to a plastic fork.

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The power to be Chuck Norris

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the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

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the power to turn everthing you touch into to some form of pork but you are an orthodox jew

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The ability to avoid work when connected to the internet. Thanks, by the way.

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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the power to wake up 2 seconds before your alarm.

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The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

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The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

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The power to speak Italian fluently while dining in a Chinese restaurant.

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being black

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The power to hole 1 inch putts.

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The power to run really fast, but only when facing brick walls 2 ft away.

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The power to heal yourself but only damage you inflict on yourself.

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The ability to get shot, for real.

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The ability to type incredibly fast when your keyboard is broken.

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I HAVE A TINY PINGAS! (Penis) Moral: Ladyfriend here daring me to post this here, PFF! Is that even a dare? I got balls of steel! Oh, and I should totally ask my doctor if she can give me something that helps me unwind after multiple female company, or at least they are daring me all to type that pff! Im not even good looking... And noooooo, nobody dared me to type that, they want todeeeeeeeeeellllllllteeeeeeeeee tht BUTI SHALLOOOWWWWWWINSSSSSSSS

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The power to say things twice. The power to say things twice.

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The power to blink at incredibly fast speeds

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The power to lose this power.

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The ability to hover slightly above the ground on Wednesdays.

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The power to whant badly to have kids but you give birth to massive amounts of spiders, ducklings and some undefined type of small feline instead of childen

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The ability to look at someone and die.

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The power to fuck your mum whenever you want

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!