The power to smell you poop after you flushed

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The ability to de-carbonate soda

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The power to be 1% bullet proof.

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The power to have uncontrollable amounts of earwax so when you put in earphones they get covered in earwax

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the power to freeze time by 10 secs but in the process freeze yourself too.

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The ability to turn into a slightly damp sponge

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The ability to walk on water, but only if you're Jesus

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The power to think of the worst superpower.

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The ability to grow and retract your hair at will, but cutting it will remove the ability.

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The power to not go to wor unless it's a work day and to not fell pain unless you get hurt.

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The power to fly 2mm above the ground

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The power to change your emotions at will.

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the power to fly but only if your feet are touching the ground

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The power to cheat on your wife with your wife only if shes on her period

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the ability to turn things purple by touching it.

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Having the power to stand still

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The power to stop typing about the power. IT'S OVER 9000.

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The power to smell a fart before someone lets it out.

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the ability to grow your nails at will.

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Super-slowness

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The power to shrink without the power to return to normal size

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The power to run super fast, but only while in space.

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The power to eat razorblades, but only when covered in a mixture of antifreeze, bile and tabasco sauce.

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The ability to breathe and swallow at the same time.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!