The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The ability to make food disappear from a plate by putting it in your body.

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The power to detect which kitchen drawers contain the silverwear at other peoples houses

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The ability to grow a third nostril.

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the power to win any video game with your feet but only when intoxicated

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The ability to always wake up in time but never fall asleep in time.

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The power to walk at the speed of light, but not any slower.

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The power to listen to justin beiber

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The power to touch the lava when falling off the couch

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The power to fly when you fart

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The ability to have any destructive power... As long as you use it on babies or old people.

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the ability to turn things purple by touching it.

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the power to shout and make people piss their pants

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The power to turn Hydrogen Peroxide into water but only while you're using it to clean out your ears

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The power to cheat on your wife with your wife only if shes on her period

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the power of superspeed but only backwards

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X-Ray vision that only works on fat chicks.

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The power to travel back and forth in time by pressing your left elbow against your right armpit. It really works! Try it!

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The ability to dodge bullets, but only after you've been hit by the first bullet.

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The power to kill anything you touch, but only when touching adorable puppies.

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The power of women's rights.

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To be able to summon old people

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To grow your fingernails out and in very quickly.

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the power to enter this website into your favorites page, so you can look up other pointless super powers in times of danger

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!