The power to know where the beef is

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The power to have your toe nails and fingernails be bulletproof.

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The power to have a atomic fart

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to sit for extended periods of time in front of the computer doing pointless things. The person who is reading this has that pointless superpower otherwise he would be doing something productive.

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The power to know what you would look like if you were ugly.

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The power to always lie even when you don't want to and then you have to truthfully say that you were lying otherwise the closest person kicks you in the groins.

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The power to turn on electronic devices without pressing the switch, but only when you're touching the switch.

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The power to sing Friday by Rebecca Black perfectly when it's thursday.

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The power to die early.

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The power to find pokemon attractive

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The power to sit on a pile of change and add it up.

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the ability to grow a boner to an incredible size but only when you are asked to come up to the front of the class

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the power to dissaper into nothingness and appear in 2 years again while not noticing you skipped time...

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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the power to undress yourself at a slower rate then others

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The ability to perfectly walk backwards but only when you are sat down.

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The power to have magnetic eyeballs.

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The power to skid against the ground at 45 mph

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the power to destroy the planet you are standing on

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The ability to see through insects.

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The power to know exactly how events would have turned out, had the last event gone differently

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The power to smell like body odor at will

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the ability to be invincible but your weakness is air.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!