The power to strangle yourself to death

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The power to eat broken glass and shit windows.

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The power to explode on demand.

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The power to have Pauly D haircut while being a dumbass.

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Delayed Reaction Man

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The power to be extremely well-endowed while having sex, but only when masturbating

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The power to teleport to Northern Siberia with only a speedo on.

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The Power to lost your Dankness every time you Breath.

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The power to kill anyone with your mind, In your imagination.

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The ability to read children's books twice as fast as any given child.

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the ability to solve paradoxes

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The ability to create bruises on your body but not know where they came from, and then poke them.-.Jack

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The power to eat food.

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The power to turn into an escalator

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The power to drown on land.

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The power to be invulnerable to any type of bullets except lead and copper.

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The power to get this. Do you get it?

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The power to wake up every morning and have to pee

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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The power to have hindsight.

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The power to become famous on vine

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The power to teleport to anywhere in the known universe, but not be able to teleport back

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The power to make cottage cheese...With you mind!!

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the power to have super strength but only while your sleeping

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!