- Pointless Super Powers

The power to accelerate your own aging when you're happy. Unfortunately it's irreversible.

The power to instantaneously change the grain of wood

The power to vomit through your anus.

The power to love me. Moral: I have enough of my own. HE TORTURES YOU BECAUSE HE NEEDS YOUR LOVE, I DONT TOUCH YOU BECAUSE I REQUIRE NOT YOUR LOVE, WHO IS YOUR GOD NOW! (still not me, Gods and super sayans are foolish)

The power to walk on water, but only if its temperature is below 0° C

The Power to sit down only on chair made of knives.

The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

The ability to levitate birds

The power to kill someone as long as they've already been killed.

The power to become a virgin but only if you've never had sex.

the power to slitely change how you look by smiling

The power to make your boss s**t his pants during staff meetings

Having a 5 second eidetic memory

The power to have a atomic fart

the power to write amazingly neat but only with invisible ink

the power to write on cellophane

Be invincible...but only when you're NOT in danger.

The ability to run super fast, but you don't have legs.

The power to have laser vision but it is 2 times worse on your eyes.

the power to solve any problem and answer any question or equation, you just have to read all books known to mankind.

the power to write only the letter R

The power to read and immediately understand any vanity license plate from Arizona.

The power not to dance while you're in a coma.

Be dumb and gay like austin Calhoun

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!