The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The power to complete the jigsaw puzzle that you got bored of because it was to hard and now its in the box and covered in dust

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The power to read the minds of rocks

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The power to save all that time your new fast boil kettle has saved you

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The power to shoot 2 inches of artillery cable from your pinkie.

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Eat pizza but you have to be eating pizza

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The ability to grow a third nostril.

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the power to freeze time by 10 secs but in the process freeze yourself too.

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The power to solve any mathematical question, but getting frozen immediately, and forget everything when melted out.

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The power to be so perfectly blunt.

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The power to enter into a Coalition with the Conservative Party

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the power to make broccoli taste like asparagus

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Being able to see exactly 0.001419 seconds into the future

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The power to be able to able to be really smart at things no one cares about.

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The power to pickpocket anyone, but only if you intend to place something more valuable/useful into their pockets to replace what you've taken

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The power to fart out of your hands.

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The ability to speak Latin but only when no one can hear you

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the power to sleep through a prison rape

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The power to piss only when sleeping.

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The power to shit brix, No wait.

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The power to have all the powers of all the superheroes, but only on February 30th.

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The ablity to slap a policeman and get away with it.

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the power to live a happy and fullfilling life...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!