the ability to post here

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The power to grow your own armpit hair at a rate of 1 ft/day, and change its color at will.

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The power to resist Buzz Lightyear´s lazer beam, but only in real life

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The power to eat broken glass and shit windows.

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Being able to wiggle your left pinky & right ring-finger exceptionally fast.

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Power duplication or power negation in a world where there are no superpowers.

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The ability to fart like a zombie.

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The ability to speak Latin but only when no one can hear you

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The power of turning poo into Adam Sandler movies

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The power to only drink when your parents are watching.

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The power to throw fire out of your hands but at the same time burn your hands.

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the power to tolerate all the crap superpowers

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the power to act exatctly like a pineaplle.

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The power to propel urine at the top speed of the animal you most recently thought of.

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The power to let someone control your dick

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The power to run light speed only when the world is speed up to light speed

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The power to have withdrawal symptoms.

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The power to summon anything you hate. Moral: Relax I hate morals too, if you ever find a moral here, then its not the original guy.

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The power to shoot sperm out of your eyes

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The ability to teleport to any place in the universe, but only if it is currently occupied by something else

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The power to make really bad jokes: knock knock who's there chicken chicken who no thats an owl not a chicken, you goose!

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You dont HAVE to give my former comment a thumbs ups, I mean why should I care about your opinion and needs etc? Moral: But admit to yourself that it was awesome, or else you are just lying to yourself, doing ya a favor kiddo.

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the power to SHUT UP ALREADY!

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The power to die whenever you eat any type of food

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!