the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

The ability to fart like a zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

The power of turning poo into Adam Sandler movies

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The power to only drink when your parents are watching.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

thumb_up thumb_down +114

The power to make birds levitate as you walk by them.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

the power to tolerate alex simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +112

The power to let someone control your dick

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power to propel urine at the top speed of the animal you most recently thought of.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power to automatically yell every action you do like in a Japanese fighting game, I once started doing this for fun, at the end of the day eveyone hated me, good luck. (OPEN DOOR! OPEN DOOR! CLOSE DOOR! POOL SHOT! CUMMING HARD CUMMING HARD! SONIC BOOM! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! TAKING A PUNCH TO THE FACE UPPERCUT!)

thumb_up thumb_down +108

The power to have a x-ray vision. but only for adults.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The power to summon anything you hate. Moral: Relax I hate morals too, if you ever find a moral here, then its not the original guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The power to read 20 pages of pointless superpowers, but only during science class

thumb_up thumb_down +92

The power to heal yourself but only damage you inflict on yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

The power to walk on frozen water.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

The ability to read minds by absorbing their mental disorders

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The power to make really bad jokes: knock knock who's there chicken chicken who no thats an owl not a chicken, you goose!

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The power to talk to animals and plants, but only to have really boring conversations with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

the power the convince people if they agree

thumb_up thumb_down +68

the power to waste time watching a video about pointless superpowers while using this website

thumb_up thumb_down +68

The power to shoot your teeth at the force of a Nerf gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The powaaaaaaa srry again..... The power to be come a parked car THEY SEE ME NOT ROLLING...... WOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down +62

the abilty to come back to life, but in a black hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!