The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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the power to jerk off

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The ability to be raped.

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the power to cure someones cold by giving them AIDs

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The power to see 2 min. into the past.

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The power to wake up and live through school....

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The power to see through air.

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The power to hear other people's thoughts when they aren't thinking.

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The power to be 1% bullet proof.

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the ability to give a potato an orgasm

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The power to incriminate yourself in a crime you didnt commit

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The power to turn all people into giant robots which you don't control

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the power to make fire but only when you are in water

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The ability to eat anything except for food

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The power to nail anyone you want (legally) but no one remembers, including you

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The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

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the power to feed a dog peanut butter and not laugh

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The ability to predict the future .000001 seconds in advance.

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The power to summon tastebuds in your asshole, but cannot be undone within 24 hours.

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the power to eat only one lays potato chip

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The power to drive any Lamborghini or other shit expensive car you want. You still need to get a car like that though...

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The power to set yourself on fire but be immune to flames

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The power of having any superpower Batman has at will.

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The Power to lose a fight before it begins

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!