the power to pee for longer then a normal person

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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The power to uncontrollably laugh and point at every black guy you see

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The power to teleport to anywhere in the known universe, but not be able to teleport back

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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tumor boy, has the power to grow a tumor in his own body.

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The power to breathe oxygen.

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the power to uncontrollably say but I love you, when you're breaking up with someone

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the power to jerk off

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the power to say the power to say the power to say the power to say.....

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The power to transform your foreskin to rusty iron.

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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The power to light glue on fire.

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The power to poop but only in bushes.

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The power to not be Chuck Norris.

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The power to paralyze yourself from the waist-up.

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power to look pretty but only in your mom's eyes

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The ability to fart and pee twice in one go.

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The power to cure cancer, but only on corpses

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The power to strangle yourself to death

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The power to hold your breath forever, but only in a hot-tub.

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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The power to communicate with your own toenail clippings.

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The power to die spontaneously, and have no one notice

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!