The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The ability to control water but only when it is raining

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the power to jerk off

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The ability to be raped.

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The power to cook pop tarts really fast

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The power to hear other people's thoughts when they aren't thinking.

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The power to wake up and live through school....

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The power to see 2 min. into the past.

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The power to be 1% bullet proof.

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the ability to give a potato an orgasm

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The power to incriminate yourself in a crime you didnt commit

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The power to turn all people into giant robots which you don't control

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the power to make fire but only when you are in water

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The ability to eat anything except for food

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The power to touch the lava when falling off the couch

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The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

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The ability to predict the future .000001 seconds in advance.

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The power to breathe

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The power of speaking every laguage on earth, but to know only one word in your entire life.

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the power to eat only one lays potato chip

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The power to fall down in a forest, and, if none is around, noone will hear you.

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The power to drive any Lamborghini or other shit expensive car you want. You still need to get a car like that though...

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The power of having any superpower Batman has at will.

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The power to blow bubble with Tootsie Rolls.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!