The ability to breathe underwater but only when above water

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The power to see five times as clearly and up close, only when looking at insects and arachnids.

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The power to be arrested for crimes you did not commit

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the power to sleep through a prison rape

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the power to shit with your mouth

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The power to transport yourself back in time to when the universe began!

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The power to achieve 98% opacity

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The power to fall asleep whenever you want to

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the power to move things with your mind in your imagination

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To be flaming gay. Both kinds.

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The power to stand still for five hours

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The power to mentally control tapeworms.

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The power to go back in time and kill yourself in the past.

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The power to lose your hearing and eyesight/

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The power to have Chuck Norris roundhouse kick you infinity times

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The power to read View Terms of Services

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The power to know the name of every show while the title card is in front of you but only if you are holding cheap mango chutney

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The power to skip the Kripp.

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the power to not have superpowers

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The ability to stare without blinking for an infinite amount of time, but only whilst watching two girls one cup.

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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The power to switch on clappers by snapping your fingers

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The power to have superpowers from the beginning

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The power to turn your hair ginger at a whim.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!