the power to make your nipples taste like shit and your shit taste like nipples

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The ability to just 1 meter high, but whenever you do so you lose a meter from your height, only to regain it when you hit the ground.

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To have the power of hindsight, which will allow you to see what you should have done previously or what other people should have done

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The power to explode on the moon

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To change your eye colour when ever you want

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you are immortal, but only while rubbing your mothers feet.

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The power for shampoo to never go in your eyes, but only when its Johnsons No More Tears.

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The ability to make slightly off colored flags of any country that can not be used in combat.

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The power to understand the farmer in Hot Fuzz.

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The power to spontaneously combust into trillions of microscopic kittens, every time you stare a cat photo for more then 3 hours.

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the power to scream "I LOVE JUSTIN BEIBER!!!" when your freinds are around (you can only have this power if you and the freinds you mostly hang out with hate jb)

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The ability to perpetually masturbate.

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The power to have Chuck Norris not be able to do something.

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The abilty to jump 50m in the air without the abilty to survive long falls

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The power to die at will.

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The power to be a Fox News anchor with something actually coherent to say.

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the power to make a vagina taste like pizza

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The superpower to speak from to anybody's asshole.

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The power to see through air

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the power of superspeed but only backwards

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Genetic immunity to the bubonic plague.

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the power to be able to switch tabs on your computer two seconds after your parents walk in the room

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the ability to smell sounds

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The power to become white by going into midtown harlem at night and shouting: I HATE NEGROES!!! At the top of your lungs.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!