The power to lick anything except pussy.

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The power to increase the amount of earwax by 300 percent at will.

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To have the power of hindsight, which will allow you to see what you should have done previously or what other people should have done

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The ability to be invisible but only while playing the tambourine.

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the power to pee for longer then a normal person

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The power to teleport to anywhere in the known universe, but not be able to teleport back

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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the power to uncontrollably say but I love you, when you're breaking up with someone

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the power to jerk off

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the power to say the power to say the power to say the power to say.....

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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The power to eat soap.

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The power to light glue on fire.

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The power to not be Chuck Norris.

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The power to paralyze yourself from the waist-up.

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The power to heal yourself once every hundred years.

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The ability to fart and pee twice in one go.

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The power to travel time at 60 seconds a minute

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the power to be able to run long distances without getting tired

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The power to cure cancer, but only on corpses

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The power to strangle yourself to death

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The power to hold your breath forever, but only in a hot-tub.

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To be ALMOST able to run faster than a speeding bullet

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The power to spell-check or at least reread what you're about to post.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!