The ability to run... AT THE SPEED OF MAN

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The power to drown on land.

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The power to do reverse moonwalk

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The power that will grant you no power.

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The power to fly simular to a paper air plane. OH SHIT BIRD SHIT COMING IN.

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The power to attract cats but be allergic to them

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The power to control Rollie pollies

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the ability to self resurrect only if you are not dead

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the power to never be able to draw a straight line with a ruler

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The power to know where the beef is

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the superpower to turn into a chicken in a processing plant

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The power to teleport to anywhere in the known universe, but not be able to teleport back

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the power to make pointless superpowers

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The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The ability to be raped.

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the power to jerk off

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The power to fart get a 10 inch but only at your moms house

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the power to say the power to say the power to say the power to say.....

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The power to poop but only in bushes.

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The power to paralyze yourself from the waist-up.

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The power to cure cancer, but only on corpses

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The power to strangle yourself to death

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Teh powwer too misspeel evrything!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!