The power to turn yourslef into a suicide bomber just as he blows himself up

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The power to die whenever you eat any type of food

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The power to eat a cheeseburger and still get fat from it

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the power to wake up 2 seconds before your alarm.

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The power that will grant you no power.

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The power to never be tired, but only when rowing a boat.

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The power to fly simular to a paper air plane. OH SHIT BIRD SHIT COMING IN.

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the ability to self resurrect only if you are not dead

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The power to control Rollie pollies

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The power to talk to animals but only as they are attacking you

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the power to never be able to draw a straight line with a ruler

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The power to attract cats but be allergic to them

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The ability to make any girl hook up with you, while your penis is numb

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Invisibility when people aren't looking.

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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The power to get hard at will.

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The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to type useless powers that no one's ever gonna read.

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The power to have a unique fart smell

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The power to move in slow motion whenever running away from danger. Moral: Hilarious! XD

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The power to give onesself a heart attack just by thinking about it.

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the power to make food disappear in your mouth only when your mouth is not closed.

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The power to eat soap.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!