The power to vomit a thoroughly blended mix of pickles, cheese, onions, caramel, lead paint, octopi, boiling water, vinyl, super glue, hot sulfur froth, and hand sanitizer.

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The power of making toast land butter-side up

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The power to fly, but only when you are less than a foot off the ground.

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The ability to turn anything into a belt.

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The power to turn the tv off from 0.00000000001 inches away, with your mind, but it takes half an hour to actually turn off. This superpower runs out whenever you come within a mile of a tv.

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The power to think of a pointless superpower

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The ability to be telepathic but only while sleeping. So you just think it's a dream.

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The power to know when an item of food has been cooked to perfection, 38 seconds after it has caught fire.

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The power to not remember, the only problem, is that you don't remember having this awesome power.

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The power to travel in time but only to the moment of your death.

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The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

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the power of wanting to download paid games for free and always failing

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the power to charge rechargeable batteries.

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The power to turn into Donald Trump hair

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The ability to fart pee.

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The ability to have X-Ray vision that only works on glass.

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Hearing so good a raindrop will deafen you

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The power to be unconscious during Calculus class.

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the power to feel the emotions of other people, that are severely depressed.

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The power to be able 2 pee every 2 hours

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The ability to fly while awake, but you are narcoleptic

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The power to have as much fun typing these as me. Moral: Of course you possess no such "useless" superpower you sad loser!

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The power to handle the truth. Moral: Truth is in the eye of the beholder, I AM THE ONE AND ONLY BEHOLDER!

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The power to have any power you want, but only if you are touching a nine pound diamond, standing in a pool of gold, and stabbing yourself in your pineal gland, the smallest muscle in your body.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!