The power to talk to animals but only as they are attacking you

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The ability to de-carbonate soda

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The power to transform any cutlery into a plastic spork, but only when you're in life threatening situations.

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The power to actually care what these people are writing.

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the power to win any video game with your feet but only when intoxicated

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The power to choose the next president of the united states of america.

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the power to freeze time by 10 secs but in the process freeze yourself too.

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The power to look at this thing - Browny the dow

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the power to read minds but forgetting it for 3 seconds

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The power to fly 2mm above the ground

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The power to enter into a Coalition with the Conservative Party

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The power to grow fingernails.

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The power to read minds only when people are thinking of broken pencils in a bowl full of acid.

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The power to summon anything from any store, after paying 10 times its worth.

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The power to lower the temperature in the room but only if you're cold

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The power to shoot spaghetti out of your finger tips.

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The power to laugh uncontrollably in funerals

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The power to grow one wing

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The power to mind reeds

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The power to hold your breath forever, but only in a hot-tub.

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The power to be frozen during each heart beat.

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The power to fart glitter at birthday parties.

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The power to die spontaneously, and have no one notice

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The power to eat ass.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!