The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

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The power to become invisible to anyone not looking at you or at your general direction.

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The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

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The power to spontaneously combust into trillions of microscopic kittens, every time you stare a cat photo for more then 3 hours.

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The power to make 3.74% of your body a pale green colour.

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Giving a shit about someone's bull shit

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The power to become a destructive green beast that demolishes cities, which you have absolutely no control over whenever you get angry or scared.

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The power for chris not to eat spaghetti

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The power to give someone the power to give the power.

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The power to fly but only on a foggy Christmas night

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the power to move forward in time one second peer second

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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solar powered night-vision

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The power to remember everything then forgetting it 10 seconds later.

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The power of shrinking your own anus to subatomic size.

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The power to buy "I cant believe its not butter" and turn the damn thing into real butter.

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The power to ma-FUK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSY

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Being able to not go to the bathroom...when you have to!

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The ppwer to say SHAZAM, Then someone says wat?

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the ability to lick your own anus

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The power to read your own mind.

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The power to turn anyone into a magical butterfly that can't fly with its wing but the only thing it can do maniacal is make himself fly.

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to make asians smart

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the power to vote

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!