The power to give your grandma amazing orgasms.

thumb_up thumb_down +146

the power to make as many dogs appear as you want but they don't listen to anyone and they have rabies

thumb_up thumb_down +142

The power to resist Buzz Lightyear´s lazer beam, but only in real life

thumb_up thumb_down +140

The power to decrease the number of thumbs up by how long the joke was written.

thumb_up thumb_down +134

Genetic immunity to the bubonic plague.

thumb_up thumb_down +126

The Power to be trust by anyone as long as you are saying bullshits.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

The ability to fart like a zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

the power to tolerate all the crap superpowers

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power to automatically yell every action you do like in a Japanese fighting game, I once started doing this for fun, at the end of the day eveyone hated me, good luck. (OPEN DOOR! OPEN DOOR! CLOSE DOOR! POOL SHOT! CUMMING HARD CUMMING HARD! SONIC BOOM! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! TAKING A PUNCH TO THE FACE UPPERCUT!)

thumb_up thumb_down +106

the power to walk up the stairs without losing your breath...

thumb_up thumb_down +106

The power to spend your money on yourself, when you gotta do something useful with it, like giving it to me. Moral: GIVE ME THY TRESUUUR!

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The power to be hungry without eating a Snickers bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The ability to teleport to any place in the universe, but only if it is currently occupied by something else

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power HAVE A SUPER POWERD LASER SHIT

thumb_up thumb_down +94

the power to persuade every 80 yo into penetrating you analy

thumb_up thumb_down +88

the power to wake up 2 seconds before your alarm.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to speak with death people..

thumb_up thumb_down +84

the power to SHUT UP ALREADY!

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The power to make my own sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down +78

The ability to breath under lava

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The power to say IS every time in the same over the top dramatic way

thumb_up thumb_down +74

The power to fly during 0,2 seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

The power to find Waldo after the looking at the same page for over 6 hours straight

thumb_up thumb_down +70

The power to random things that you touch into the same thing but a different color

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!