The power of 2 milliseconds of omnipotence followed by death.

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The power to post hundreds of pointless superpowers in minutes. Moral: It is always fun to see another person`s comment between mine with zero thumbs, while mine always keep the excellent two thumb quality! Lesser man would say thank you... I say you are welcome everybody ;) (A moral man original, because someone needs the balls of steel required to see things how they really are)

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the power to put your shoes on faster than you did before

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The Power to think of a better superpower you could have chosen

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the power to search pointless super powers when you could be doing something useful

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

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The power to spontaneously combust into trillions of microscopic kittens, every time you stare a cat photo for more then 3 hours.

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The ability to make your body colder in cold whether and hotter in hot whether

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The power to know what happens in a film seconds before watching it.

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The power to give someone the power to give the power.

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the ability to have 2/3 nipples.

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The power to stop time, but only when you are waiting for something.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

The power to use your penis and testicles as a powerful one time grenade in case you get assaulted. (probably the most pointless power ever)

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The power to remember everything then forgetting it 10 seconds later.

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The power to be able to never have a power.

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the power to read something without looking at it

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The power to understand a joke 30 seconds later after the last person in the group did it.

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Invisibility, but only in the dark.

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power to eat through your but

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the ability to tell what some last ate smelling their farts

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The power to be great at math but forget how to breathe.

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You dont HAVE to give my former comment a thumbs ups, I mean why should I care about your opinion and needs etc? Moral: But admit to yourself that it was awesome, or else you are just lying to yourself, doing ya a favor kiddo.

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The power to read your own mind.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!