The power to have logs come out a tiny hole in your body. Oh wait... - SMC Digital

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Power to freeze your self in time but everyone else can move, but you cant

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The power to dance really well

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The power to find the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The power to absorb your hair into your body and the burp up a bottle of shampoo and you have to do this once a day or your eyes and ears and mouth and nose will liquify for a day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

the ability to walk barefooted on top of legos without pain but only as long as you don't know they're legos

thumb_up thumb_down

The ability to know everything and get anything you want, but you must poop out a poop the size of a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down

the power to vote

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The power to drink water and pee immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The power to state the obvious at will.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The power to know that Han Solo dies

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The power to throw crazed badgers 3% faster than the average human. However, you would have to find the badgers, and they would have to be angry. The power does not affect your aim, only your speed.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The power to get a boner, but only when you're hugging your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

The power to make dad jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

The power to stop time, but only when you are waiting for something.

thumb_up thumb_down +131

The power to always reach just half an inch away from the spot on your back that itches

thumb_up thumb_down +107

The ability to speak any language, but whoever you speak the language to doesn't speak or understand the language

thumb_up thumb_down +93

The power to be interrupted in mid sent- "Shut up! I'm trying to sleep!"

thumb_up thumb_down +93

The Power to lose a fight before it begins

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The power to see thru windows and turn door knobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!