The ability to turn into a were-turtle when exposed to the full moon.

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The power to grow fingernails just to cut them later

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The ability to speak any language, but whoever you speak the language to doesn't speak or understand the language

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the power to youtube poop

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The Ability to make everybody hate YOU!

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The ability to turn invisible... when noone is looking

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the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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The power to talk to animals and have them partially understand you.

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the superpower to be able to fuck extremely good with or without genitals

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The power to speak with dead relatives, but only whilst masturbating.

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The power to ride a bike

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The power to read your own mind.

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The power to make other people hold their breath.

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The power to summon your mom so you can prove she's not as fat as the chav in front of you is saying she is

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The power to eat a cheeseburger and still get fat from it

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the ability to write using your 'inside' voice but only once your vocal cords are compromised

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The power to think of a pointless superpower

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The power to walk through doors, then open it.

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The power to give a **** about bigfoot

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the power to be invisible, but only at night

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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the ability to only do pointless things.

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The ability to make your body colder in cold whether and hotter in hot whether

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the power to lift 5 tonnes above your head, but only for 0.1 seconds

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!