Everything you touch turns into piles of steaming shit.

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The power to grow hair on your eyeballs

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power to perfectly tie a Cherry stem in your mouth only while your in and elevator going down in Shanghai on the fourth shortest tower with a pink roof

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The power to look at Chuck Norris. I dare you to try.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The ability to be bulletproof after you get shot.

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The power to speak parseltongue except when you're around snakes.

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The ability to obtain a date with any girl you want, but only if you are gay.

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The power to sleep while you're awake.

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The power to telekinetically pick your nose and eat it.

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The ability to make red lights turn green by simply staring and waiting

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Immunity to medication

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The power to cheat death, but only when your alive...

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The power to shit whole balogna sandwiches.

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The power to excel at something that nobody cares about.

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The power to kill yourself.

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The power to post hundreds of pointless superpowers in minutes. Moral: It is always fun to see another person`s comment between mine with zero thumbs, while mine always keep the excellent two thumb quality! Lesser man would say thank you... I say you are welcome everybody ;) (A moral man original, because someone needs the balls of steel required to see things how they really are)

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The power of reincarnate but have absolutely no memory of your previous lives.

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The power to travel in time but only to the moment of your death.

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The ability to become the most attractive person in the world, but only when you're all alone. Also, it doesn't show up on film.

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The power to eat junk food at light speed

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the power to become a duck but not be able to quack

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The power to teleport to the last place you shit.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!