The power to go Skiing and ice skating in mid summer

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The power to die, and you can only do it once.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to die when you change emotions

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The power to fly but only when you are in a winged aircraft.

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The power to unwillingly turn into a girl when you have sex with your girlfriend or turn into a guy when you have sex with your boyfriend.

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The ability to not be able to say you have an ability

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The power to have everyone in the universe believe you are dead. Including you.

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the power to be .13 cents short on every purchase you try to make.

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The power to excel at something that nobody cares about.

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The power to waste your time making a pointless website so that other people could waste there time.

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The powers to lose your current power forever

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The power of telekinesis over any object one is physically touching.

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The power to find the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle

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The power to lose your genitals when you masturbate or have sex

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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the power to vote

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The power to shoot dix out of ure mouth.

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The power to drink water and pee immediately.

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The power to stop writing stupid shit on the internet.

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The amazing ability to shart at your own will.

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the most useless superpower is the power to sit around thinking up new superpowers

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The power to kill yourself, but revive at the same age only to find yourself in the other gender.

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the power to say funny joke, but only deaf people can hear it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!