The ability to levitate, but only when you're defecating.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

The power to never sleep and instead go outside and think about your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -172

The power to do everything that you can do.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

The power to fart really smelly :P

thumb_up thumb_down +93

The power to start gasping for air seconds after touching a keyb... then to die from hyperventilation seconds after using your mou...

thumb_up thumb_down +83

THE POWER TO FIX MY CAPSLOCK

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power to be unkillable when you'r not in danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

the power to teleport to the bottom of the ocean at will

thumb_up thumb_down +69

The power to travel to a parallel universe where everyone who exists dies every .1 milliseconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

The ability to turn invisible... when noone is looking

thumb_up thumb_down +65

The power to not be able to touch any living thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

The power to kill yourself just by thinking about something.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

The power to read View Terms of Services

thumb_up thumb_down +59

To get to know everything Jack Nicholson has said yet you blurb out his comments and random and by the time you face this YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: You think this entry was boring? It is great actually, what? You say it sucks? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

thumb_up thumb_down +57

The power to perfectly tie a Cherry stem in your mouth only while your in and elevator going down in Shanghai on the fourth shortest tower with a pink roof

thumb_up thumb_down +57

The power to catch em all

thumb_up thumb_down +55

The power to speak parseltongue except when you're around snakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

The ability to kick in a three point shot but only during a game.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The power to telekinetically pick your nose and eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

the ability to write using your 'inside' voice but only once your vocal cords are compromised

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The power to not have powers that arent pointless but then you realize your a normal human bein then you just think hey mabey I can be like Batman but then also you were like hey why am I not a multi-billionaire . After this all you find out you have the power to wake up at 12 pm only while using a alarm clock set for 7 am

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The ability to fly but, if you use it, birds start flocking around you and shitting on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Power to freeze your self in time but everyone else can move, but you cant

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The power to lose your genitals when you masturbate or have sex

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!