The power to be invincible everywhere but your face

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The power to continuously shoot extremely powerful lasers from your eyes unless they're closed or you wear special, unbelievably expensive glasses.

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The power of making your eyeballs bigger but without any significant improvement in your sight.

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the power to hope you get a job at the mall because they laid everybody off and sent the jobs off somewhere cheap

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The ability to propel yourself and others away from you by sneezing.

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The power to communicate with people that are within 20 metres of you

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The power to run 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% slower.

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The power to shit dirt!

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The ability to orgasm every time you speak.

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The ability to speak any language, but whoever you speak the language to doesn't speak or understand the language

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The ability to watch an episode of 60 minutes in 59 minutes

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The power life like a hermit.

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the power to see when the lights are on

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the power to be FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!

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The power to set money on fire

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The power to control any type of urine or feces

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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The power to be a limbless emotionless and powerless being but being a total Invincible person in return.

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The power to control dodos

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The pointless superpower to take farewell with my two fans... well one... me included... Anyway, my goal was to make an impact, however small, and when I suddenly start featuring pointless inventions, I can see I made an impact... even if it was not exactly motivating... thank you everybody. Moral: Has left the network

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The power to remember every moment of your suckish life

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The power to believe in yourself, when you can believe in me. Moral: BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU!

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the power to sh*t brix at will!

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The power to fly, but only when on the ground

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!