The superpower to poo at will.

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The power to pee out of your nose and drink out of your ears

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the power to be the best looking person but only to rapists.

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The power to hear a dog whistle

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To have the ability to trip over your own "meat curtains" at will and make it look graceful... somehow.

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The power to transform any cutlery into a plastic spork, but only when you're in life threatening situations.

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The ability to have every possible thought as fast as the Flash is capable of moving and faster and know how every scenario can, will, and most likely will play out, yet you cannot say anything about them and they cannot be put to use. As well as no one can read your mind or anything similar to obtain said knowledge.

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The ability to always wake up in time but never fall asleep in time.

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the power to turn gold into cottage cheese

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the power to freeze time by 10 secs but in the process freeze yourself too.

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The power to sh*t bricks

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The power to have explosive diarrhea after eating Chipotle

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The power to solve any mathematical question, but getting frozen immediately, and forget everything when melted out.

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The power to ask sarah jessica parker, "why the long face?"

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The power to grow your nails longer

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The ability to pass gas and have it smell like coffee from Starbucks.

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The power to fly, but only when you're on a plane

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The power to smell a fart before someone lets it out.

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The Power To Have Only (This) One Power.

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The power to not have any powers

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The power to make food from anything, but noone can eat it.

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The power to make a child in Africa die of starvation every time you sneeze

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The power to shit brix, No wait.

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The ability to turn everything to gold; as long as the original material is gold.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!