The ability to levitate birds

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The ability to make Mondays come after Sundays.

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the power to make justin bieber a bad singer.

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the power to control urine

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To have the ability to trip over your own "meat curtains" at will and make it look graceful... somehow.

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The power to throw crazed badgers 3% faster than the average human. However, you would have to find the badgers, and they would have to be angry. The power does not affect your aim, only your speed.

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The power to waste time thinking of and uploading pointless superpowers

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The power to give anyone a Kim Jong-un haircut.

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The power to have super speed for 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 milliseconds a century

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To be able to turn into any molusk when in a lava pit

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the power to be infinitely constipated

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the power to resist texting and driving 76% of the time when you only own a landline.

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The power to shit brix, No wait.

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The power to fall up.

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The power to talk really loud or quiet and you can control it.

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The power of Grayskull.

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The power to transform into Osama whenever someone sees you.

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The ability to pronounce the word "rural."

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The power to know all the answers to life after you are fatally wounded.

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The power to be a mistborn but only if you're on Scadrial.

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The power to summon a bomb... in your stomach.

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The power to be invisable but for only 5 seconds or the power to fly but only 2 feet off the ground.

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the power to know everything even the meaning of life but you can not talk

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!