The power to be Sexually Molested And Raped Twice and be smart at the same time.

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The power to wipe your ass once, and only once.

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The power to fly, but you have to wee every 5 seconds.

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When walking down the street, i try to get to a crack in the pavement a few feet ahead of me, and step on it before the next car passes me on the road

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The poewr to selpl eryvetihng wonrg.

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The power of losing your power in the most crucial moment

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the power to be .13 cents short on every purchase you try to make.

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The power to put everything off till the last possible day

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the power to evenly cook a hot pocket.

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The power to not have powers that arent pointless but then you realize your a normal human bein then you just think hey mabey I can be like Batman but then also you were like hey why am I not a multi-billionaire . After this all you find out you have the power to wake up at 12 pm only while using a alarm clock set for 7 am

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The power to be MAGNETO! And have the power to WELCOME TO DIE! You dare not WELCOME TO DIE? AHAHAH! X-CHICKEN!

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The ability to kick in a three point shot but only during a game.

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The power to instantly ressurect at the very same spot if you get submerged under lava or acid.

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The ability 2 breath underwater, but not above water

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The power to transform into an ant, but only on busy pavements in the after work rush.

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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the power to watch reruns of NBC's "Joey" in your head

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The power to get the most rated pointless superpowers post

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The power to transform into a 37 year old World of Warcraft playing virgin

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The power to remove the power within.

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The power to be bad at everything

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The power to bleed out of your nose all the tme.

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the power to turn into a cheerio at will

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The ability to give yourself brain cancer at will

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!