the power to destroy galaxies but only when drunk or high

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The power to take a crap.

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The power to run at the speed of light, but are paralyzed from the neck down.

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The power to withstand camel rape.

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The power to burn ashes

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The power to breathe under water, but only when you're asleep.

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The power to piss with REALLY high force.

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The power to automaticly teleport over a cliff only when you are within 12.36 lightyears from one

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The power to shit rainbows but have incredible pain while shitting them.

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The power to walk into Mordor.

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The power to unwillingly turn into a girl when you have sex with your girlfriend or turn into a guy when you have sex with your boyfriend.

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To be flaming gay. Both kinds.

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the ability to not have to sleep as long as your procrastinating how ever if you dont sleep after 24 hours you will die if you try do anything productive thus you must procrastinate for the rest of your life

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The power to teleport but only on the surface of the sun.

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The power to tell time every other second. sometimes.

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The power to know the answer of what is the purpose of life only after death.

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The power to remove any fart smell from a room by taking ten deep and loud inhales through your nose (only five for girl farts).

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the power to never laugh at funny things but laugh nonstop at all other times

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the ability to make real zero dollar bills

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MARIAN PRICE ISN'T DEAD BUT SOME SAY SHE'S DEAD INSIDE

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To be able to immediately know the name of anything you see

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The power to kill a manin just 30 years a spoon

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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The power to make doors disappear at will.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!