The power to kill yourself when you are dead.

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The power to be AMAZING in bed, but only when you're having sex with a midget over the age of 40.

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The power to be HUMAN

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The power to be really angry, all the time, for no actual reason.

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[insert pointless super powers here]

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The power of asdfgh

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The power to walk on your butt cheeks

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The power to become invisible, but it only works when you are using it for noble and moral purposes.

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The power to talk to dust

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MARIAN PRICE ISN'T DEAD BUT SOME SAY SHE'S DEAD INSIDE

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Feeling people's depression.

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the power to make sillet bang remove stains from shirts

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the power to shoot superman

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the power to see through clothes in a gay bar.

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The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

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the power to start a new wave band with a neon Open sign, a single bath salt, and a wet Tibetan ritz cracker.

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The power to put out light from your butt

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The power to grow increasingly warm fur as your body temperature rises.

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The ability to turn traffic lights red in your lane and green for everyone else

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The power to recite 1,000 digits of pie, but only when you need to say the Fibonacci sequence

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the power to fall asleep while being awake

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The power to seduce any woman... that weighs over 300 pounds.

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The ability to cure someone of HIV, but you contract it yourself.

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The power to change you`re mind at rando... the power to... hmm.. the... the.. AH! The power to... hmm... no... hmm...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!