the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The power to open a pickle jar in one try

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The power to have no power.

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the power to make sounds by vibrating your vocal cords.

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The ability to shoot guns, but the guns have to have no ammo to shoot.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the other is a baby.

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The power to die when touching any form of light

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The power to make your parents walk into your room whenever you're masturbating.

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The power to be a dick.

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The power to pick something up and stay the same but smell bad.

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The power to make everyone you touch see nothing but porn

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The power of evolving a cancer cell everytime you blink

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the power to relive the least important moments in history

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The power to go your nose hair by 3 inches every 3 hours

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The power to detach you`re penis and use it as a throwing weapon... to late you discover its not possible to attach it back :(

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The ability to summon Cthulhu automatically when you reach the age of 23.5.

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The power to realize that I am starting to sound (and type) more and more like Salvador Dali, and being proud because the man was a genius, the most fantastic thing he could do every morning, was to wake up with a person as fantastic as himself! And while he indeed walked a different path than most do, no one can deny his footprints are clearer than most... Perfection? A losers wish... to be outstanding... is a gift on its own. Moral: Yeah many of you see this as pointless, so I thought I could just as well add it. While I dream of the age where people stop looking for Gods and strengthen the most powerful tool in the universe: YOU.

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The ability to talk like Robert DeNiro on helium

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The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

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The power to fly upwards at Mach 3 speeds, indoors

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The power to always have the exact amount of money in your pocket when buying something, but then drop and lose a dime when the money over.

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The power to be an artistic genius during a math test.

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The power to read people's minds, but in a language you don't understand.

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the power to summon a bus, but it will only come at the same time as another bus

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!