The power to touch anything that is touchable.

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the power to do sit on your couch all day

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The power to mis-spell words but only on the internet

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The power to eat just 1 Lays potato chip

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The power to shapeshift into a worm.

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The power to shit purple butterflies.

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Black power

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The power to make any woman have volcanic earth.shattering orgasms but only if she's having sex with another man

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The power to run light speed only when the world is speed up to light speed

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The power to light yourself on fire but not be immune to fire

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the power to persuade every 80 yo into penetrating you analy

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The power to read someone's mind, but only if they're thinking of tacos.

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the power to eat when you have already ate from a few hours ago

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The power to make paper doves at above average speed but you can only make 4 a day.

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The power to look beautiful/handsome when nobody is looking at you.

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Radiation resistance inversely proportional to the amount of radiation around you.

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You can read the minds of rocks.

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The power to naturally wake up at a certain time but only if you set an alarm.

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The ability to turn into Chuck Norris, then get round house kicked in the face and killed by the real Chuck Norris because there can only be one Chuck Norris.

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Being able to transform into anything on and off the planet, only, you have to be touching that object.

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The power to manipulate thermometers but not actually affect the temperature.

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The power to open a pickle jar in one try

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The power to have no power.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!