The power to shorten your lifespan by 10 seconds.

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the power to recognize "woman rights".

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The power to make the tip of your penis invisible at will.

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The power to thumb down Moral Man's posts. NOTE: It is required that the user of this ability possess average to above-average intellect. Seriously, bury this dickbag's posts. He's an annoying twat.

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The ability to eat your enemies and get their powers only when your are starving to death.

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having the ability to not piss yourself when your on the toilet.

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The power to read thoughts but it reads everyones thoughts at the same time and you can't decipher whose thought is whose

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the power to make your best friend's crush fall in love with you, but not your own crush.

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When walking down the street, i try to get to a crack in the pavement a few feet ahead of me, and step on it before the next car passes me on the road

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The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

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The power to do EVERYTHING backwards

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The power to breathe under water, but only when you're asleep.

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The power to fill in ___ blank

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the power to kiss your own ass

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The ability to smell with your hands

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the power to evenly cook a hot pocket.

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The power to RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE, only for becoming a homoerotic bodybuilder addicted to steroids made from white bull testicles, and eating so many that you eventually become a golden werewolf, a blue hedgehog or something like that...

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The power to make someone see your smile slightly whiter

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The ability to turn into Gary Coleman

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The power to turn into wood by rubbing salt on yourself

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The power to wink with both eyes

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The power to perfectly sing any song by Justin Bieber

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The ability to lose Russian rolette, once.

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The power to be able to shoot arrows really well...cough.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!