The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The power to make paper doves at above average speed but you can only make 4 a day.

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The power to look beautiful/handsome when nobody is looking at you.

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The power to manipulate thermometers but not actually affect the temperature.

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The power to grow increasingly warm fur as your body temperature rises.

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The power for shampoo to never go in your eyes, but only when its Johnsons No More Tears.

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The power to have no power.

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beeing the dragonborn, when there are no dragons....

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The power to think you have powers.

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the ability to draw spectacular things but only with invisible ink.

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The power to shoot yogurt from your armpits once a month

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the power to have no one read this post

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To call me maybe

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The power to make your parents walk into your room whenever you're masturbating.

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The power to read a dictionary in under 48 hours

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The power to make everyone you touch see nothing but porn

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The power to mis-spell words but only on the internet

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The power to fly but only when your in space.

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The power of evolving a cancer cell everytime you blink

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The power to die and come back as a invincible bug that lives for 5 seconds

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The power to become me. Moral: You could not handle the awesomeness and would ruin yourself just so you can feel "normal" rather than awesome.

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The ability to turn door knobs with your feet every other even day.

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the power to eat when you have already ate from a few hours ago

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!