The power to have the strength of 50 old people

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power of hearing peoples conversations but only on topics related to Shrek.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

for every time you get emotionally hurt part of you body actually decompose and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power to reverse gravity but only when you're outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

the power to engage in prostitution, unless you are a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The power to believe that Mac Donalds burgers look exactly like the pictures that advertise them.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

The power to lose your sense of touch and orgasm uncontrollably for five minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

The power to revive people. As long as the person is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

The AWESOME Power To See With Your Eyes Open

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The power to be really angry, all the time, for no actual reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The ability to fly a millimeter of the actual natural ground (cancelling stuff like concrete and water) or perfectly levitating; Criss Angel style

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The power to empty your bladder without going to the restroom but only when you really have to poop and it is trying to force its way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

The power to enlarge your penis but only when you use a penis pump.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

the power to mourn the loss of loved ones

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The power to shit bombs that only go off when bitten by you.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The power to automatically uncensor anything you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

The power to walk 1% faster.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The powers to know every martial art ever when your neck is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The power to make people feel self confident when you encourage them

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

the power to be invisible, but only at night

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The ability to visit pointlesspowers.com and click the "WRITE YOUR OWN" button and think of something to write.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The power to just eat one lays potato chip

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!