The power to order stuff online with your dad's credit card

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The power to kill yourself at will

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The power of minding your own business

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mime-o-moid. The power to pretend to be stuck in a box, walk a dog and climb a rope.

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the distinct ability to tell when a marine plant is mildly displeased with it's cells.

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the power to at will swap your hands and feet around... you fall over every time

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The power to see at night but only black objects.

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The power to fly at the speed of sound, but only at ground level with your eyes closed.

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Oye sun teri ma ka saki na ka

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The ability to have 20/20 vision... only when wearing glasses.

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The power to slap your buttcheeks together, then transform into a head of cabbage.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to summon a Genie lamp, that if rubbed allows you to wish for 3 pointless superpowers.

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the power to fall off of a cliff and live... in hell

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The power to have bad luck!

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The ability to sense any and all ham in a five mile radius.

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The power to go super saiyan for 0.01 seconds

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The power to divide by zero, but not remember how when someone asks you.

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Giving a shit about someone's bull shit

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The power to become a destructive green beast that demolishes cities, which you have absolutely no control over whenever you get angry or scared.

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The power to be powerless in situations u need them the most.

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The power to transform any cutlery into a plastic spork, but only when you're in life threatening situations.

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The power to believe that the only way is essex.

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The ability to summon CHUCK NORRIS, but only while naked.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!