The power to look super sexy, but only in pitch black darkness.

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The power to summon earthworms

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the power to see the present.

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X-ray vision that only works on windows

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the ability vote up this superpower

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The power to be able to understand any language, after studying that language until you feel comfortable that you know it.

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The power to cease to exist at birth!

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making http://pointlesssuperpowers.com/

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The power to keep hair from growing on your head forever.

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The power to turn into a dogbed when somebody says micro-tacos

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The power to shapeshift, but only when below ground.

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The power to have a small penis

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The ability to crap out acid once every month.

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the power to pee shit and shit piss.

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The power to digest food 1% faster than normal on Tuesdays and 1% slower on Thursdays

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The ability to talk to parrots and have them talk back to you

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The power to excrete food colouring from your sweat glands.

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The power to help bitches stay alive! Bitches love staying alive!

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wast your time on the computer

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The power to move 7% faster.

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The power to convert Oxygen to Carbon Dioxide.

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The ability to unravel a ball of yarn with your mind

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The power to have superhuman strength. But I have to jack off to do so.

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The power to levitate birds while they are flying....

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!