The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.

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The ability to find any lost pennies, as long as you're Jewish

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The ability to turn an airplane into a smart car, but only while they're full and in flight.

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The power to wipe ur ass without the need of toilet paper

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the power to always hug people

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The power to be Justin Bieber and be cool at the same time

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the power to read 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 books every second

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The power to be buried at sea

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The power to survive a car crash only if it's between 9 and 9.30 am.

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The power to shit brix

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The power to withstand camel rape.

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Be able to hear all the alarmclocks in the world

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The power to burn ashes

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the power to frow up when your not sick.

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The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

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The power to kill yourself with your mind.

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The power to kill yourself.

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Clairvoyance, but only when your mothers having intimacy with your dad.

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The man who isn't afraid of sharks. Not even a little.

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The power of x-ray vision including mild radiation and only seeing bones

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The ability to sleep for 15 straight hours and still feel exhausted...thank you mono.

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The power of not having to fill out chapchas

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the power to grow mustache combs from your fingernails, but lack the ability to grow facial hair

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The power to explode by yelling ALLAH FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEE! (Bonus: you always appear on Al Jazeera when you blow yourself up)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!