the power to... SHUT THE F*CK UP

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The power to not hear thunder.

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The power of immortality while suicidal.

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The power to manage Chelsea FC

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The power to think of a funny pointless superpower then find out someone has already posted it.

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the power to make a super smelly fart every time you eat 40 cotton balls

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The power to burst into flames but not be immune to heat.

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The power to have morning sickness in the evening.

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The power to not have powers that arent pointless but then you realize your a normal human bein then you just think hey mabey I can be like Batman but then also you were like hey why am I not a multi-billionaire . After this all you find out you have the power to wake up at 12 pm only while using a alarm clock set for 7 am

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The power to fap 10x as fast as an elephant.

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The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

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the power to quickly re-wrap christmas presents

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The power to shovel well. To shovel very well.

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the power to never laugh at funny things but laugh nonstop at all other times

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The power to levitate mustard.

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Clairvoyance, but only when your mothers having intimacy with your dad.

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The power to kill yourself.

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The man who isn't afraid of sharks. Not even a little.

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The power to not Waste time

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The power of x-ray vision including mild radiation and only seeing bones

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[insert pointless super powers here]

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the power get massive erections but you are only aroused buy new born babies or near death old men and women.

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the ability to make real zero dollar bills

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!