The power to hypnotize chickens

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The power to fly whenever you get a stroke. (The power goes away as soon as the stroke ends, so make sure to get all your flying deeds done while you still have a stroke)

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The power to chew on chicken heads without breaking your teeth.

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The pewer to mistype the power, this time in non reverse.

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The power to shoot lasers from your eyes when you eyes are closed

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The power to have a hot mom and sister that constantly train you sexually so you can satisfy any woman. (useless my ass)

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The ability to turn invisible but only when no one is looking at you

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The power to jump 1 centimeter higher than you usually can

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The power to never sleep and instead go outside and think about your life.

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The power of believing you have a real power when you don't (which doesn't make you have a power at all, and consequently, turns into a paradox). Self-paradox man!

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The power to always reach just half an inch away from the spot on your back that itches

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The power to finish right before you start (If you know what I mean)

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The power to sleep if your not awake

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The power to see one second into the future before the moment you die but not be able to change anything.

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When walking down the street, i try to get to a crack in the pavement a few feet ahead of me, and step on it before the next car passes me on the road

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The ability to go 100% slower

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The ability to change your eye colour at will. basically, you do this with a torch. Everyone can do this.

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The power to cease to exist at birth!

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The power to emit a password protected wi-fi signal, but only while you sleep.

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The power to turn into a dogbed when somebody says micro-tacos

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The power to slightly accelerate the growth speed of your left toenails.

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The power to have a small penis

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the power to engage in prostitution, unless you are a prostitute.

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The power to excrete food colouring from your sweat glands.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!