The power to go back in time and kill yourself in the past.

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Just because you do not see and advert here, it does not mean it is not here... Moral: Dudu duduh dudududun... ALWAYS MORAL-COLA! (aka Moke in the brits) NOW IN LIGHT AND SUPERFAT EDITIONS! Order now for the special I am fagneto edition! TASTE THE FAGNETIC! Because if gay is your way, todays morals, support this way! Lesbian-Coke is out of stock, but pre-order now and receive a moral man offer: "the lesbian drunk party invite international live!" *porn music* Hurry up! Only 2 Billion tickets left! No wait... just 50 left!... no wait... 40... no 30... 29... you better hurry ladies! As much *free* booze you can drink! *The booze Is free, the entrance is free, but the payment to get out of the building depends on how much you drink, non payers will be graped and their sex pictures will be sold on the internet* *All lesbian sex pictures will be sold on the internet, grape is not allowed! Surprise sexy time is allowed though!* Moral-Cola!

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The power to vote for Osama Bin Laden for president. Moral: And to believe it could still be worse...

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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I am the daddy devil of all evil hhaha like A boss

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The ability to make the skin above your eyebrows really, really dry and flaky---whenever you want!

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The ability to be a jewish, homosexual, black crossdresser in Louisiana.

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The power to fly for as long as the average human is in the air during a vertical jump.

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The power to make toast but only when it has bread in it and it's turned on.

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The power to SPEAK IN ALL CAPS.

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The power to see the present.

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the immunity to bullets only after being shot 47 times and are dead

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The power to give yourself any disease, but not the power to cure it.

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the power to fart terrible gas

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The power to be able to shoot arrows really well...cough.

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The power to jerk off with no hands.

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the power to permanently change your name to Graham

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The power to only like foods that are at least two different colors, but only on Thursdays. All the other days are whatever you wanna eat :D

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The power to stop time for 1 second

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The power to read this text unless you can see it.

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The power to tie your shoes...... while your on BOTH knees

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the power to have no powers.

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The ability to walk on water. Unless the water is deeper than 0.000000000001 mm.

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power to orgasm over long distances

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!