The ability to cure anyone of AIDS for 37 seconds

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the power of mind controlling...yourself

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The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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The power to time travel to the present.

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The power to turn into a cookie, but only when the person next to you is on a ravenous cookie eating spree.

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The power to fly for as long as the average human is in the air during a vertical jump.

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The power to levitate a lamp 4 inches off the ground... Once...

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The ability to run... AT THE SPEED OF MAN

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The power of laughing in awkward situations.

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The power to poo in the toilet

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The power to move the remote from the coffee table, where it is sitting 2 feet out of reach, into your hands

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The power to cum extremely hard inside you`re mother.

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The power to not feel pain when you are not in pain.

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The power to sleep with any hot chick........but only when she's dead.

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The ability to turn into a hipster at will.

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The power to read minds only when people are thinking of broken pencils in a bowl full of acid.

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tha powah to haz pointless supah powahz

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The power to make toast but only when it has bread in it and it's turned on.

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The power to shapeshift, but only when below ground.

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Being a Spice Girl

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Power to always have exact change.

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The power to create brilliant memes, but you don't have access to the internet.

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the power to cheat your right hand with your left hand

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The power to sh!t using your mind.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!