The power to jump 1 centimeter off the ground and be hungry and if you don't get food within a nano second you'll die of exposure to any form of matter

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The power to be able to freeze anything, with the help of your trustworthy sidekick the freezer.

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The power to break through walls but forget to shout "OH YEAH!"

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They power to be able to make meth.

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The power to make guns appear in the hands of people who are enraged at you.

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The ability to guess the reCAPTCHA words first try

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To be be able to be and throw fire without being fireproof.

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The power to become severely depressed and suicidal whenever you feel the slight sensation of happiness.

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The ability to cross the Do Not Cross tape at crime scenes

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The ability to predict what will appear on ReCaptcha, SOLVEmedia, and all that stuff, before you see it.

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The ability to travel back in time, but always five minutes after you can be of any use to anyone.

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The ability to teleport from any toilet to any toilet and read minds of anyone in the bathroom all around the world.

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The ability to troll a website like this. Basically, you do this. QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM.

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The ability to teleport, but only into solid stone.

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The power to be instantly transported to Switzerland, naked, whenever you reach orgasm.

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the power to allow dumbass powers to be written on this site

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The power to fap without satisfaction

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The power to read minds. ...of those who went through brain death.

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I have the power to make /b sarcastic, witty and funny.

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The power to sleep on road trips but only if you're not in a car.

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The power to turn on a hot flash, but only when it's 80 degrees out.

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The ability to fully regenerate... your eyebrows.

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The power to uncontrollably dance to disco music

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!