The ability to pee freshly-made Japanese rice noodles.

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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Just because you do not see and advert here, it does not mean it is not here... Moral: Dudu duduh dudududun... ALWAYS MORAL-COLA! (aka Moke in the brits) NOW IN LIGHT AND SUPERFAT EDITIONS! Order now for the special I am fagneto edition! TASTE THE FAGNETIC! Because if gay is your way, todays morals, support this way! Lesbian-Coke is out of stock, but pre-order now and receive a moral man offer: "the lesbian drunk party invite international live!" *porn music* Hurry up! Only 2 Billion tickets left! No wait... just 50 left!... no wait... 40... no 30... 29... you better hurry ladies! As much *free* booze you can drink! *The booze Is free, the entrance is free, but the payment to get out of the building depends on how much you drink, non payers will be graped and their sex pictures will be sold on the internet* *All lesbian sex pictures will be sold on the internet, grape is not allowed! Surprise sexy time is allowed though!* Moral-Cola!

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The power to speak Braille.

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the power to create Snyder films. xD

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Having the ability to drink bleach and not die. You only get really sick.

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The power to look extremely attractive, only when ugly people are looking at you

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The power to make anyone have Donald Trump's hair.

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The power to stretch your tounge but it can only curve in a way that it only get inside your anus.

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The power to eat soup with a fork

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Meltman, with the power to melt!

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The power to move through light at the speed of time

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The power to stop reading this. Or the power to live forever but only if you never ate BACON !

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The power to get massive boners when you are reading a presentation.

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The power of being mysterious. Terribly mysterious. And possibly being capable of cutting guns in half with one's mind.

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the power to believe there are 50 shades of grey

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The ability to pick ur nose while killing a bacteria and kissing a mouse ass

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The power to make everyone yawn in the room when you yawn.

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The power to triple-click in the time it takes a regular human to double-click.

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blindness

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The power to shit purple butterflies.

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The power to shapeshift into a worm.

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The power to hear everything in pig-Latin.

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The power to remember your past failures and all the pain you ever received every time you close your eyes. And you have no appossable thumbs.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!