The ability to read any language and understand it perfectly but only in pitch black darkness.

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The power to sleep with any hot chick........but only when she's dead.

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The power to be the only person who can save mankind from creatures that don't exist.

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The power to fill trash cans with garbage

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The power to slightly accelerate the growth speed of your left toenails.

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the power to read word that are the right way up upside down, but not read words that are upside down the right way up

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The power to become extremely strong and intelligent by being in contact with substances such as: -Kryptonite -Adamantium -Any acid that can melt trough glass -A gallon of moose sperm ( you must be submerged)

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The ability to change clothes instantly every 67 years

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The power to fight fire with fire and create more fire.

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The power to make dogs quit sniffing you.

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The power to breathe

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The ability to unknowingly make people to read this sentence.

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The power to turn jelly into peanut butter, but only in quantities of 17 gallons.

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The power to transfer your soul into a burrito

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The power of getting aroused when someone rubs your kneecaps.

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the power to die

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The Power Hear Everything that happens within the closest McDonald's

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The power to Google "Google".

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The power to speak Braille.

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The power to be afraid of horses.

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The power to fly, shapeshift, lift very heavy objects, teleport, and heal injuries every year only on the 31st of June

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The ability to revert any computer to windows vista. Works best on Linux operating systems.

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The power to read a book in 2 seconds but forget everything but the title.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!